The Lost Art of Living in Community

Every winter, Mr. Thompson cleared the snow off not only his own driveway but also his elderly neighbor Mrs. Willson’s, never asking for anything in return. When he slipped on ice one February morning and fractured his ankle, it was Mrs. Willson—despite her age—who brought him hot meals, collected his mail, and even walked his dog each day until he recovered. Neither had spoken much before the snow started falling that first year, but through small, unspoken acts of care, a quiet bond had formed—one rooted in the simple belief that helping one another makes them both stronger.

This is an example of reciprocal altruism: helping not out of obligation to family, but with the understanding that support might one day be returned. Across cultures and eras, mutual aid, caregiving, and cooperation have been essential to human survival. We didn't survive as a species because we were the fastest or the strongest, but because we supported one another and learned to unite as a tribe. This ability to collaborate—to build trust and extend care beyond immediate circles—has always been a cornerstone of human success.

As a nation, we have historically risen to challenges with a spirit of unity, especially during times of crisis. After the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941, Americans mobilized with extraordinary resolve. Citizens rationed goods, worked in defense industries, and volunteered, fostering a profound sense of shared sacrifice and purpose. That era of resilience and cooperation would later define what we now call “The Greatest Generation.”

Similarly, the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, shook the nation to its core—but also ignited a powerful wave of patriotism and solidarity. Across the country, communities rallied together: flags were raised, first responders were honored, and civic engagement surged. That collective spirit was evident in the sharp rise in military enlistment. In the year following the attacks, 181,510 Americans joined active-duty service, and another 72,908 enlisted in the reserves, according to the USO. Among them was someone many of us know well—my husband, Adam Kinzinger.

In contrast, the COVID-19 pandemic—arguably one of the most far-reaching crises in modern history—did not foster the same sense of unity. While there were moments of mutual aid and appreciation for frontline workers, they were fleeting. The broader reality was a deepening of social and political divisions. Rather than uniting against a common threat, we turned inward—mistrustful, polarized, and fragmented by politics.

At the root of this growing divide is a shift in our cultural and political rhetoric. Compassion, once considered a civic virtue, is now often dismissed as weakness. Strength is too frequently defined by how forcefully we oppose those who differ from us—by race, belief, or lifestyle—rather than how deeply we seek to understand or support them.

This erosion of community is not just cultural—it is measurable. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey found that only 66% of Americans feel close to others in their country, and just 54% feel connected to their local communities. Globally, the U.S. stands out for its low levels of social cohesion. The international median for national closeness is 83%, and 78% for local community—far higher than U.S. figures. These numbers reflect a uniquely American fragmentation, one that has not been healed, but rather exposed and intensified by crisis.

History offers a sobering lesson: great empires do not collapse solely due to outside threats—they crumble when internal divisions rot them from within. From the Roman Empire to more recent global powers, when a society lose their sense of shared identity and purpose, decline is all but inevitable. Today, the United States faces a similar danger. As we drift further from a reliable sense of community, and as we alienate long-standing allies and those who share our values, we weaken the very foundation of our strength.

True resilience is not built through isolation, fear, or hostility—it is sustained through connection, trust, and common purpose. Without those, even the most powerful nations eventually fall. And unless we rediscover the lost art of living in community, we risk becoming one more chapter in that long, familiar story.